All disabled people have the right to support that centers our autonomy, dignity, and leadership. This page is informed by what disabled people have said, written, and organized around for decades. The best way to be an ally is to listen to disabled people.
You want to support disabled people. That's good—and how you do it matters. Well-meaning support can cause harm when it's based on pity, when it speaks over disabled people, or when it centers the helper's feelings instead of disabled people's actual needs.
Effective allyship requires ongoing learning, humility, and willingness to follow disabled people's lead. It means using your access and privilege to support disabled leadership, not to replace it.
An ally is someone who uses their privilege to support marginalized groups, takes direction from the community they're supporting, does ongoing work rather than one-time gestures, is willing to make mistakes and learn from them, and centers disabled people's voices rather than their own.
Nothing About Us Without Us
This phrase, central to the disability rights movement, means including disabled people in decisions that affect us, not speaking for us when we can speak for ourselves, recognizing that our expertise on our own lives matters most, and ensuring that policies, programs, and organizations about disability have disabled leadership.
This includes answering questions directed at a disabled person, explaining disability to disabled people, assuming you know what's best, and taking up space in disability conversations.
Instead: Listen. Amplify disabled voices. Step back.
This includes praising disabled people for ordinary activities ("So inspiring that you go to work!"), sharing stories of disabled people to make non-disabled people feel good, framing disability as tragedy to overcome, and using disabled people as motivation ("At least you're not in a wheelchair!").
Instead: See disabled people as regular people. Reserve "inspiring" for actually inspiring things.
This includes grabbing a wheelchair without asking, "helping" without consent, deciding what's accessible without asking disabled people, and making assumptions about capabilities.
Instead: Ask before helping. Believe disabled people about our own needs.
This includes making disability conversations about your feelings, expecting disabled people to educate you for free, getting defensive when corrected, and seeking praise for basic decency.
Instead: Do your own learning. Accept feedback gracefully. This isn't about you.
This includes treating disability as inherently tragic, framing support as charity rather than rights, "giving voice to the voiceless" (we have voices), and focusing on what disabled people "can't" do.
Instead: Approach disability as a rights and justice issue. Disabled people aren't objects of charity.
Read what disabled people write. Follow disabled creators, activists, and thinkers. Attend disability events as a learner, not an expert. Believe disabled people about our experiences. Accept that you'll never fully understand, and that's okay.
Learn about accessibility needs relevant to your context. Include image descriptions on social media. Caption your videos. Choose accessible venues for events. Ask about access needs and follow through on what you learn. Don't treat accessibility as optional or "extra."
Support disability rights campaigns. Contact legislators on disability issues. Attend protests and actions—and help make them accessible. Share disability content and amplify disabled voices. Vote for candidates who support disability rights. Include disability in your other justice work.
Speak up when you witness ableism. Challenge ableist jokes and language. Advocate for accessibility in your workplace, school, and community. Hire and include disabled people. Share resources and opportunities with disabled people.
Donate to disabled-led organizations. Support disabled artists and creators. Fund accessibility measures. Share your professional skills. Contribute time, money, and access.
Don't lead disability spaces as a non-disabled person. Support disabled leadership. Don't take jobs, positions, or platforms that should go to disabled people. Recognize when your presence isn't needed.
Ableism is discrimination and social prejudice against disabled people based on the belief that typical abilities are superior. It operates on multiple levels: individual (personal attitudes, biases, behaviors), institutional (policies, practices, systems that disadvantage disabled people), and cultural (norms, media representation, language that devalues disability).
Things non-disabled people might not notice include inaccessible buildings, websites, and events; assumptions that disabled people can't work, parent, or be in relationships; using disability as insult ("That's so lame," "Are you deaf?"); staring, intrusive questions, and unsolicited advice; treating disabled people as children; and not including disability in diversity efforts.
Disabled people can internalize ableist messages too. As an ally, recognize this is the result of living in an ableist society, not a personal failing of the disabled person.
Advocate for accessible hiring practices. Support accommodation requests—don't make colleagues justify their needs. Include disability in DEI efforts. Challenge ableist comments. Don't assume disabled colleagues can't do things. Create accessible documents and meetings.
For more detailed guidance, see Professional Toolkits, particularly Employers & HR.
Choose accessible venues. Provide accessibility information upfront. Don't make access a big deal. Include disabled friends in planning. Check in without hovering. Don't interrogate people about their disabilities.
Connect your child with disabled adults and role models. Presume competence. Support your child's autonomy. Listen to disabled adults' perspectives on raising disabled children. Don't center your own experience over your child's. Fight for your child's rights while preparing them to self-advocate.
Believe disabled patients. Learn about specific conditions rather than expecting us to educate you. Make your practice accessible. Don't assume all health problems are disability-related. Respect our expertise on our own bodies. See us as whole people, not just diagnoses.
For detailed guidance, see Healthcare Providers Toolkit.
Implement Universal Design for Learning. Provide accommodations without making it a big deal. Include disability in curriculum. Challenge ableism in your classroom. Have high expectations for disabled students. Center disabled perspectives when teaching about disability.
For detailed guidance, see Educators Toolkit.
Build accessibility in from the start. Include disabled people in the design process. Learn accessibility standards for your field. Don't treat accessibility as optional or "nice to have." Represent disability authentically in media.
For detailed guidance, see Architects & Designers Toolkit.
Don't touch wheelchairs or mobility aids without permission—they're extensions of the person's body. Don't move things people have placed within reach. Make spaces physically accessible. Don't assume physical disability means cognitive disability.
Learn about Deaf culture (capital D refers to cultural identity). Face the person when speaking. Don't shout—it doesn't help. Provide captioning and interpreters. Don't cover your mouth when speaking.
Identify yourself when approaching rather than assuming recognition. Don't grab or guide without asking. Describe visual information when relevant. Don't pet or distract service dogs without permission. Make digital content accessible.
Don't assume what someone can or can't do. Respect different communication styles. Accept stimming and other self-regulation. Don't force eye contact or "normal" behavior. Provide clear, direct communication when asked.
Believe people about invisible symptoms. Don't suggest cures or treatments—we've heard them all. Understand that symptoms fluctuate. Accept when people need to cancel or rest. Don't say "But you don't look sick."
Don't use psychiatric terms as insults ("That's crazy"). Respect privacy about mental health status. Support people without trying to "fix" them. Challenge stigma. Learn about peer support and recovery models.
Presume competence. Speak directly to the person, not their companion. Don't infantilize adults. Support self-determination. Use plain language without being condescending.
You will make mistakes. Here's how to handle them:
Apologize briefly and specifically: "I'm sorry I [what you did]. That was ableist."
Don't center your feelings: This isn't about your guilt.
Learn from it: Reflect on what went wrong.
Do better: Change your behavior going forward.
Don't expect praise for apologizing: This is baseline.
What not to do: Make excuses, get defensive, demand emotional labor explaining why it was wrong, expect disabled people to absolve you, or give up and stop trying.
Being an ally isn't a destination—it's continuous practice. Keep learning. Stay humble. Accept feedback. Show up consistently. Center disabled people. Do the work even when no one's watching.
Social media: Follow disabled activists, creators, and thinkers on the platforms you use.
Podcasts: Disability After Dark, The Accessible Stall, Disability Visibility Podcast.
Publications: Disability Visibility Project, Rooted in Rights.
Are you a disabled person with advice for allies? Have you seen allyship done well or badly? Have examples or resources to share?
This page centers disabled people's expertise and is informed by disabled-led organizing globally. The best thing allies can do is listen to us. For questions or to suggest additions, see How to Contribute.
Last updated: November 2025