You want to support disabled people. That's good. Here's how to do it well—according to disabled people.
This page is informed by what disabled people have said, written, and organized around for decades. The best way to be an ally is to listen to disabled people.
An ally is someone who:
- Uses their privilege to support marginalized groups
- Takes direction from the community they're supporting
- Does ongoing work, not one-time gestures
- Is willing to make mistakes and learn
- Centers disabled people's voices, not their own
Nothing About Us Without Us
This phrase, central to the disability rights movement, means:
- Include disabled people in decisions that affect us
- Don't speak for us when we can speak for ourselves
- Our expertise on our own lives matters most
- Policies, programs, and organizations about disability need disabled leadership
- Answering questions directed at a disabled person
- Explaining disability to disabled people
- Assuming you know what's best
- Taking up space in disability conversations
Instead: Listen. Amplify disabled voices. Step back.
- Praising disabled people for ordinary activities ("So inspiring that you go to work!")
- Sharing stories of disabled people to make non-disabled people feel good
- Framing disability as tragedy to overcome
- Using disabled people as motivation ("At least you're not in a wheelchair!")
Instead: See disabled people as regular people. Reserve "inspiring" for actually inspiring things.
- Grabbing a wheelchair without asking
- "Helping" without consent
- Deciding what's accessible without asking disabled people
- Making assumptions about capabilities
Instead: Ask before helping. Believe disabled people about our own needs.
- Making disability conversations about your feelings
- Expecting disabled people to educate you
- Getting defensive when corrected
- Seeking praise for basic decency
Instead: Do your own learning. Accept feedback gracefully. This isn't about you.
¶ Pity and Charity Framing
- Treating disability as inherently tragic
- Framing support as charity rather than rights
- "Giving voice to the voiceless" (we have voices)
- Focusing on what disabled people "can't" do
Instead: Approach disability as a rights and justice issue. Disabled people aren't objects of charity.
¶ Listen and Learn
- Read what disabled people write
- Follow disabled creators, activists, and thinkers
- Attend disability events as a learner, not expert
- Believe disabled people about our experiences
- Accept that you'll never fully understand, and that's okay
- Learn about accessibility needs
- Include image descriptions on social media
- Caption your videos
- Choose accessible venues for events
- Ask about access needs and follow through
- Don't treat accessibility as optional or extra
- Support disability rights campaigns
- Contact legislators on disability issues
- Attend protests and actions (and make them accessible)
- Share disability content and amplify disabled voices
- Vote for candidates who support disability rights
- Include disability in your other justice work
- Speak up when you witness ableism
- Challenge ableist jokes and language
- Advocate for accessibility in your workplace, school, community
- Hire and include disabled people
- Share resources and opportunities with disabled people
- Donate to disabled-led organizations
- Support disabled artists and creators
- Fund accessibility measures
- Share your professional skills
- Contribute time, money, and access
- Don't lead disability spaces as a non-disabled person
- Support disabled leadership
- Don't take jobs, positions, or platforms that should go to disabled people
- Recognize when your presence isn't needed
¶ Understanding Ableism
Ableism is discrimination and social prejudice against disabled people based on the belief that typical abilities are superior.
It operates on multiple levels:
- Individual: Personal attitudes, biases, behaviors
- Institutional: Policies, practices, systems that disadvantage disabled people
- Cultural: Norms, media representation, language that devalues disability
Things non-disabled people might not notice:
- Inaccessible buildings, websites, events
- Assumptions that disabled people can't work, parent, be in relationships
- Using disability as insult ("That's so lame," "Are you deaf?")
- Staring, intrusive questions, unsolicited advice
- Treating disabled people as children
- Not including disability in diversity efforts
Disabled people can internalize ableist messages too. As an ally, recognize this is the result of living in an ableist society, not a personal failing.
- Advocate for accessible hiring practices
- Support accommodation requests (don't make colleagues justify their needs)
- Include disability in DEI efforts
- Challenge ableist comments
- Don't assume disabled colleagues can't do things
- Create accessible documents and meetings
- Choose accessible venues
- Provide accessibility information upfront
- Don't make access a big deal
- Include disabled friends in planning
- Check in without hovering
- Don't interrogate people about their disabilities
- Connect your child with disabled adults and role models
- Presume competence
- Support your child's autonomy
- Listen to disabled adults' perspectives
- Don't center your own experience over your child's
- Fight for your child's rights while preparing them to self-advocate
- Believe disabled patients
- Learn about specific conditions (we're tired of educating you)
- Make your practice accessible
- Don't assume all health problems are disability-related
- Respect our expertise on our own bodies
- See us as whole people, not just diagnoses
- Implement Universal Design for Learning
- Provide accommodations without making it a big deal
- Include disability in curriculum
- Challenge ableism in your classroom
- Have high expectations for disabled students
- Center disabled perspectives when teaching about disability
- Build accessibility in from the start
- Include disabled people in design process
- Learn accessibility standards for your field
- Don't treat accessibility as optional or "nice to have"
- Represent disability authentically in media
- Don't touch wheelchairs or mobility aids without permission
- Don't move things people have placed within reach
- Make spaces physically accessible
- Don't assume physical disability means cognitive disability
¶ Deaf and Hard of Hearing
- Learn about Deaf culture (capital D)
- Face the person when speaking
- Don't shout—it doesn't help
- Provide captioning and interpreters
- Don't cover your mouth when speaking
¶ Blind and Low Vision
- Identify yourself when approaching
- Don't grab or guide without asking
- Describe visual information
- Don't pet service dogs without permission
- Make digital content accessible
- Don't assume what someone can or can't do
- Respect different communication styles
- Accept stimming and other self-regulation
- Don't force eye contact or "normal" behavior
- Provide clear, direct communication when asked
- Believe people about invisible symptoms
- Don't suggest cures or treatments
- Understand that symptoms fluctuate
- Accept when people need to cancel or rest
- Don't say "But you don't look sick"
- Don't use psychiatric terms as insults ("That's crazy")
- Respect privacy about mental health status
- Support people without trying to "fix" them
- Challenge stigma
- Learn about peer support and recovery models
¶ Intellectual and Developmental Disabilities
- Presume competence
- Speak directly to the person, not their companion
- Don't infantilize adults
- Support self-determination
- Use plain language without being condescending
You will make mistakes. Here's how to handle them:
- Apologize briefly and specifically: "I'm sorry I [what you did]. That was ableist."
- Don't center your feelings: This isn't about your guilt
- Learn from it: Reflect on what went wrong
- Do better: Change your behavior going forward
- Don't expect praise for apologizing: This is baseline
- Make excuses
- Get defensive
- Demand emotional labor explaining why it was wrong
- Expect disabled people to absolve you
- Give up and stop trying
- Disability Visibility edited by Alice Wong
- Care Work: Dreaming Disability Justice by Leah Lakshmi Piepzna-Samarasinha
- Haben: The Deafblind Woman Who Conquered Harvard Law by Haben Girma
- Nothing About Us Without Us by James Charlton
- Crip Camp (Netflix)
- When Billy Broke His Head
- Lives Worth Living
- Social media: Follow disabled activists, creators, thinkers
- Podcasts: Disability After Dark, The Accessible Stall, Disability Visibility
- Publications: Disability Visibility Project, Rooted in Rights
- Centers for Independent Living (local)
- Disability Rights organizations (national and state)
- Condition-specific organizations led by disabled people
Being an ally isn't a destination—it's continuous practice:
- Keep learning
- Stay humble
- Accept feedback
- Show up consistently
- Center disabled people
- Do the work even when no one's watching
Are you a disabled person with advice for allies? Have you seen allyship done well (or badly)?
Share your knowledge: Contribution Form
This page is informed by disabled people's writing, organizing, and lived experience. The best thing allies can do is listen to us.
Last updated: November 2025