Abuse & Violence Resources

If you’re experiencing abuse or violence right now, you’re not alone. This page helps you:

• Recognize abuse
• Access immediate safety
• Plan to leave safely
• Get long-term support
• Know your rights
• Understand how disability affects abuse

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⚠️ IN IMMEDIATE DANGER?

Immediate safety:

• Call 911 (US/Canada)
• Call 999 (UK)
• Call 000 (Australia)
• Call 112 (Europe, most countries)
• Go to nearest safe place (hospital, police station, friend’s house)

Don’t wait. Your safety matters.

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CRISIS HOTLINES FOR ABUSE

Domestic Violence

United States: 1-800-799-7233 (24/7, free, confidential)
Canada: 911 or local domestic violence hotline
UK: 0808 2000 247 (24/7, free, confidential)
Australia: 1800 737 732 (24/7)

Sexual Assault

United States: 1-800-656-4673 (RAINN, 24/7, free)
Canada: Local sexual assault services
UK: 0808 500 2222 (Rape & Sexual Abuse Support Line, 24/7, free)
Australia: 1800 737 732 (24/7, also handles sexual assault)

Other Violence

Use general crisis hotlines:

• Find your country

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TYPES OF ABUSE

Understanding abuse helps you recognize it and get help.

Physical Abuse

What it is:

• Hitting, punching, kicking, pushing
• Choking, strangling
• Using weapons
• Causing pain or injury
• Forcing sex (rape)

It’s not your fault. You don’t deserve it.

Emotional/Psychological Abuse

What it is:

• Constant criticism, insults, name-calling
• Threatening to hurt you or your children
• Threatening to take your children away
• Isolating you from friends/family
• Controlling where you go, who you see
• Controlling money
• Threatening to leave with children
• Threatening to reveal secrets

It’s abuse. Even without physical violence.

Sexual Abuse

What it is:

• Forcing you to have sex
• Forcing you to do sexual acts
• Sexual touching without consent
• Rape
• Coercion into unwanted sexual activity

It’s not your fault. Even if you know the person. Even if you’re married.

Financial Abuse

What it is:

• Controlling all your money
• Preventing you from working
• Forcing you to give them your paycheck
• Running up debt in your name
• Refusing to pay bills
• Stealing from you

It’s abuse and traps you in the relationship.

Digital/Online Abuse

What it is:

• Monitoring your phone, email, social media
• Posting photos/information without permission
• Threatening to share intimate images
• Online harassment or threats
• Impersonating you online
• Using GPS to track you

It’s abuse and often accompanies other types.

Abuse of Disabled People (Specific to Disability)

Disability-specific abuse includes:

• Threatening to remove assistive technology or equipment
• Withholding medications
• Threatening to place you in an institution
• Threatening to report you as “noncompliant”
• Not providing needed accommodations/care
• Isolating you by controlling access to disability community
• Using disability against you (“no one will believe you”)
• Threatening disability-related consequences

This is abuse. Disabled people face higher rates.

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WHY ABUSE HAPPENS (It’s Not Your Fault)

Abuse happens because:

• The abuser wants power and control
• The abuser learned it (doesn’t justify it)
• Abuse is a choice (the abuser could choose differently)

It is NOT because:

• You did something wrong
• You provoked them
• You’re not good enough
• Your disability makes you deserve it
• You’re too sensitive
• You should try harder

The abuser is responsible. Not you.

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SAFETY PLANNING

A safety plan helps you get out safely if you decide to leave. You can make one even if you’re not ready to leave yet.

Safety Plan Components

1. Recognize warning signs

What are the early signs before abuse escalates?

• Specific words or behaviors
• Tone of voice
• Tension building

Write these down so you recognize them.

2. Have an exit strategy

• Know where you’ll go (friend, family, shelter)
• Keep a bag packed (hidden, safe place)
• Know routes out of your home
• Identify safe places to go (library, store, friend’s house)

3. Emergency contacts

Keep this information safe and memorized:

• Domestic violence hotline number
• Friend or family member’s number
• Doctor’s number
• Lawyer’s number (if applicable)
• Shelter number

Write on paper you can memorize or hide.

4. Safety with children

• Make a code word children can use to signal danger
• Teach children where to go if unsafe
• Arrange emergency care for children if needed

5. Safety at work

• Tell trusted coworker you’re in an abusive situation
• Agree on a signal if you need help
• Keep emergency documents at work (ID, money, phone)
• Plan a safe way to leave work if needed

6. Financial safety

• Open a separate bank account if possible (hidden, safe)
• Save money gradually in a safe place
• Keep copies of financial documents
• Know your legal rights regarding money/property

7. Document the abuse

• Keep a journal (hidden, safe)
• Take photos of injuries
• Save threatening messages
• Keep appointment records (doctor, counselor)
• This is evidence if you need it later

8. Important documents to gather

• ID (passport, driver’s license)
• Birth certificates (yours, children’s)
• Social security cards/numbers
• Proof of income/tax returns
• Bank account information
• Insurance documents
• Lease/mortgage documents
• Custody agreements (if applicable)

Keep copies in a safe place outside your home.

9. Disability-specific safety planning

If you’re disabled:

• Identify safe accessible places to go
• Keep backup medication/equipment
• Plan how to get mobility aids if you leave quickly
• Keep contact info for disability services
• Know about disability-friendly shelters
• Plan for service animal care (if applicable)

For Disabled People: Extra Considerations

Barriers you might face:

• Abuser controls your mobility aids or medications
• Limited accessible housing options
• Fear of losing disability benefits
• Medical abuse (withholding care, forcing care)
• Inaccessible shelters
• Abuser uses disability against you

You still have rights and options.

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LEAVING AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP

Getting Ready to Leave

Before you leave:

1. Make a safety plan (see above)
2. Gather documents (see list above)
3. Tell someone you trust (where you’re going, when)
4. Line up support (shelter, friend, family, counselor)
5. Get your money together (savings, access to bank account)
6. Plan childcare (if applicable)
7. Know where you’ll go (shelter, friend, family)
8. Tell your doctor/counselor (if safe to do so)
9. Plan for pets/animals (if you have them)
10. Get important numbers memorized (phone services are traceable)

Leaving Safely

What to take:

Essentials:

• ID and important documents
• Money (cash if possible)
• Phone (consider getting a new one)
• Medications and medical equipment
• Clothes and necessities
• Children’s items (if applicable)
• Beloved items (irreplaceable)

What NOT to take:

• Anything you can replace

Immediately After Leaving

First 24-48 hours:

1. Get to a safe place (shelter, friend, family, hotel)
2. Call domestic violence hotline for support and resources
3. Report to police (if you want to, it’s your choice)
4. Get medical care (even if injuries seem minor)
5. Tell one trusted person where you are
6. Contact shelter if you need housing

You don’t have to make big decisions right now. Just focus on safety.

Long-term Safety After Leaving

Legal protections:

• Restraining order/protection order
• Custody arrangements (if children)
• Divorce/separation
• Name change (if wanted)

Safety planning continues:

• New locks on doors
• Restraining order enforcement
• Safe communication (no direct contact)
• Telling trusted people about situation
• Changing routines

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FOR ABUSE SURVIVORS: HEALING & SUPPORT

Trauma from Abuse

Abuse causes trauma. Healing takes time.

Common responses:

• Flashbacks or nightmares
• Hypervigilance (always scanning for danger)
• Trust issues
• Anxiety or panic
• Depression
• Physical symptoms
• PTSD

These are normal responses to abnormal situations. Not your fault.

Therapy & Counseling

Types helpful for abuse survivors:

• Trauma-focused cognitive behavioral therapy (TF-CBT)
• EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing)
• Individual therapy/counseling
• Group counseling with other survivors
• Peer support groups

Many are free or low-cost.

Peer Support

Other abuse survivors understand. Connecting helps.

• Survivor support groups (in-person or online)
• Online forums (moderated for safety)
• Peer support specialists
• Survivor-led organizations

You’re not alone. Others have survived and thrived.

Self-Care After Abuse

Healing practices:

• Therapy/counseling
• Support groups
• Time with safe people
• Activities that help you feel safe/grounded
• Physical activity (if you want)
• Rest and sleep
• Creative expression
• Spiritual practices (if meaningful to you)
• Disability justice community

Healing is not linear. Be gentle with yourself.

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SPECIAL SITUATIONS

If You Have Children

Protecting children:

• Children can suffer trauma even if abuse isn’t directed at them
• Witnessing abuse IS abuse
• Get children to safety
• Therapy for children
• Safety planning includes children

Custody:

• You have rights even if you don’t have legal custody yet
• Courts consider child safety
• Abuse history affects custody decisions
• Get legal help

Emergency care arrangements:

• Who will care for children if you can’t?
• Make arrangements now

If You’re Dependent on Abuser for Care

Disabled people may be dependent on abuser for:

• Personal care assistance
• Transportation
• Mobility aids
• Medications
• Housing

You still have options:

• Adult Protective Services
• Disability Rights organizations
• Domestic violence advocates who understand disability
• Accessible shelters with care available
• Community care alternatives

Dependence doesn’t mean you have to stay.

If Abuser is Disabled

Abuse is not OK even if abuser is disabled. Disability doesn’t excuse abuse.

Get the same support and protections.

If You’re Undocumented

You have rights even without legal status. In many places:

• You can call police and report abuse
• Shelters will help without asking status
• You can get restraining orders
• Some victim services don’t require status

Different by country/region. Call hotline for your situation.

If You’re LGBTQ+

LGBTQ+ people face abuse too. Often from:

• Partners (intimate partner violence)
• Family members (familial abuse)
• Community members (hate-motivated violence)

You deserve safety and support. Call:

• General domestic violence hotline (trained to help)
• LGBTQ+-specific services (if available in your area)

If You’re Young (Teen)

Teen abuse is real. Includes:

• Dating violence
• Coercion
• Controlling behavior
• Sexual pressure
• Digital abuse

It’s not your fault. You can get help:

• School counselor
• Crisis hotline
• Teen-specific services
• Trusted adult

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DISABILITY-SPECIFIC RESOURCES

Organizations Supporting Disabled Abuse Survivors

United States:

• National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233 (TTY available)
• National Coalition for the Disabled (disability-specific advocacy)
• National Disability Rights Network: 202-408-9514

Canada:

• Disabled Women’s Network Canada (DAWN Canada)
• DisAbled Women’s Advocacy (DWA)

UK:

• Disability Rights UK: 0330 995 0400
• Disabled women abuse support services

Australia:

• Disability Rights Services
• Domestic Violence Organisations (many disability-trained)

Global:

• Disability Rights International: Works on abuse issues globally
• UNCRPD (UN Convention on Rights of Persons with Disabilities)

If Disability Service Provider Is Abuser

Abuse by:

• Personal care attendant
• Residential staff
• Healthcare provider
• Case manager

Report to:

• Agency oversight body
• State/Provincial disability authority
• Adult Protective Services
• Police
• Disability Rights organizations

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FINANCIAL ABUSE: GETTING YOUR MONEY BACK

If Abuser Controlled Your Money

Steps to regain financial independence:

1. Get legal advice (free legal aid if needed)
2. Open your own bank account (separate from abuser)
3. Get your own ID/documents (for job, housing, benefits)
4. Access your income (job, disability benefits, support)
5. Get financial counseling (nonprofits offer free help)
6. Check credit report (see if abuser used your name for debt)
7. File for restitution (if pursued through courts)

Financial independence takes time. Be patient with yourself.

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KNOW YOUR RIGHTS

Legal Rights

In most places, you have the right to:

• Restraining/protection order
• Keep your children safe
• Divorce/separation
• Keep your own money
• Leave the relationship
• File a police report
• Press charges
• Go to court

Rights vary by location. Get legal advice for your situation.

Disability-Specific Rights

If you’re disabled, you also have:

• Right to accessible shelter
• Right to keep mobility aids/equipment
• Right to continued medications
• Right to disability support services
• Right to accessibility accommodations during legal process
• Right to disability community support

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RESOURCES FOR SPECIFIC TYPES OF ABUSE

Sexual Assault/Rape

Immediate:

• Call crisis hotline (see top of page)
• Get to safe place
• Consider medical care (within 72 hours)

You can:

• Go to hospital (no police report needed)
• Report to police (your choice)
• Get counseling/therapy

Organizations:

• RAINN (US): 1-800-656-4673
• Rape Crisis Centers (most countries)

Child Abuse

Report to:

• Local child protective services
• Police
• School counselor or teacher
• Child abuse hotline

Don’t delay. Children need protection.

Elder Abuse

Report to:

• Adult Protective Services
• Police
• Elder abuse hotline
• Long-term care ombudsman (if in facility)

Institutional Abuse

Abuse in:

• Nursing homes
• Group homes
• Hospitals
• Prisons
• Schools

Report to:

• Facility administration
• State oversight agency
• Ombudsman
• Disability Rights organizations
• Police

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IF YOU CHOOSE TO STAY (FOR NOW)

You might not be ready to leave yet. That’s OK.

Safety planning still helps:

• Reduce serious injury risk
• Gather resources gradually
• Document abuse
• Build support system

Support is available whenever you’re ready.

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IMPORTANT REMINDERS

Abuse is not your fault. You didn’t cause it. You don’t deserve it. Your disability doesn’t make you deserving of abuse.

You have options. Even if it doesn’t feel like it right now.

Help is available. Thousands of people have survived abuse and built new lives. You can too.

Leaving is not easy. It’s brave and scary. You’re not alone.

Recovery takes time. Healing isn’t linear. Be patient with yourself.

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CRISIS RESOURCES BY COUNTRY

→ Full Crisis Hotlines by Country

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RELATED PAGES

• Main Crisis Help Section
• Crisis Hotlines (All Countries)
• Emergency Preparedness & Safety Planning
• Know Your Disability Rights

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IF YOU NEED TO TALK

Crisis hotlines help with abuse:

United States: 1-800-799-7233 (domestic violence)
Canada: 911 or local hotline
UK: 0808 2000 247 (domestic abuse)
Australia: 1800 737 732 (1800 RESPECT)

You can talk. Someone will listen. You’re not alone.

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Abuse is not your fault. Help is available. You deserve safety.

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