What Does Violence Look Like: A Visual & Practical Guide
What this page covers: Concrete descriptions of what violence against disabled people looks like—visible and invisible, obvious and subtle, in intimate relationships and institutions.
⚠️ Content note: This page contains descriptions of violence and abuse. If this is heavy for you right now, Crisis Resources is here. You can bookmark this and come back when you’re ready.
Why This Matters
Section titled “Why This Matters”Violence is often invisible. It doesn’t always leave bruises. It doesn’t always involve physical force. And violence targeting disabled people is often called something else: “care,” “medical treatment,” “discipline,” “safety,” “management,” “crisis intervention.”
This page helps you see what violence looks like so you can recognize it in your own life, understand what you’ve experienced, or support someone experiencing it.
Violence vs. Disagreement: The Key Difference
Section titled “Violence vs. Disagreement: The Key Difference”| Disagreement | Violence |
|---|---|
| Both people heard | One person’s voice silenced |
| Both people’s feelings matter | One person’s needs ignored |
| Can be resolved | Can’t be resolved; pattern repeats |
| Both can say no | One person’s no is ignored |
| Mistakes happen and are addressed | Harm is denied or blamed on you |
The difference: Disagreements can be worked through. Violence is about control, and control can’t be compromised away.
Physical Violence: What It Looks Like
Section titled “Physical Violence: What It Looks Like””That Was Just a Push”
Section titled “”That Was Just a Push””What happened: You said something your partner/caregiver disagreed with. They pushed you. Hard enough that you stumbled or fell. They said “It wasn’t that hard” or “I barely touched you” or “You’re too sensitive.”
Why it’s violence: A push is a physical boundary violation. It doesn’t matter if they “barely” pushed. It matters that they used physical force instead of words.
Context for disabled people:
- Happens during personal care (caregiver “accidentally” is rough)
- Happens when you refuse unwanted medical treatment (staff “restrains” you)
- Happens when you try to leave
- Caregiver says “I’m just frustrated; your needs are hard”
Pattern to watch:
- First push seems small
- Happens again next month
- Each time they say it wasn’t that bad
- You start believing it wasn’t that bad
Rough Handling During Care
Section titled “Rough Handling During Care”What it looks like:
- Yanking you out of bed
- Throwing clothes at you instead of handing them
- Rough wiping during toileting
- Pulling you into positions for transfers (instead of guiding)
- Forcing limbs into range-of-motion exercises
- Jerky movements that hurt
- Bathing with water that’s too hot
- Not letting you prepare before being moved
Why it’s violence: Because it causes pain, humiliation, and fear. Because you’ve said it hurts and they do it anyway. Because care can be gentle; rough is a choice.
What abusers say:
- “I’m just busy”
- “You’re too slow”
- “You need to toughen up”
- “This is necessary”
- “Everyone does it this way”
- “You’re exaggerating the pain”
What’s actually happening: Deliberate harm masked as “efficiency” or “care.”
Global context: In many countries, rough handling is standard in institutions and not considered abuse. It is. Disabled people deserve gentleness.
Being Hit, Slapped, or Punched
Section titled “Being Hit, Slapped, or Punched”What it looks like:
- Hit on the arm, leg, face, body
- Slapped across the face or buttocks
- Punched
- Hit with an object
- Kicked
- Thrown down
- Hit hard enough to bruise
- Hit hard enough to break bones
Why this is obvious violence: Because it is. There is no ambiguity here. Hitting people is not okay.
What abusers say:
- “You made me do this”
- “I lost control”
- “You didn’t listen”
- “It was just a tap”
- “Your disability makes you frustrating”
- “I was trying to help”
The reality: None of those are reasons to hit someone.
Why disabled people don’t report it:
- Fear of institutionalization (“They’ll say I can’t live independently”)
- Fear of losing caregiver (“Then who will help me?”)
- Not believed (“A person with [disability] wouldn’t be hit like that”)
- Reporting means more questioning and investigation (trauma for survivor)
- Fear of retaliation
Visibility: In private homes: hidden. In institutions: covered up. In police encounters: often leads to disabled person being arrested, not abuser.
Restraint and Confinement
Section titled “Restraint and Confinement”What it looks like:
- Held down forcefully
- Restrained with hands, straps, or objects
- Locked in a room as punishment
- Confined to bed or wheelchair without ability to leave
- Prevented from using bathroom
- Locked outside or in unsafe conditions
- Not allowed to leave a room when you want to
- Locked in a vehicle during transport
- Forced into cold, hot, dark, or overstimulating spaces
In institutions:
- Physical restraints during “behavior management”
- Seclusion rooms (isolation)
- Medication used to sedate/immobilize
- Straps on wheelchairs or beds
- “Protective” clothing that restricts movement
What abusers say:
- “It’s for your safety”
- “You’ll hurt yourself”
- “It’s temporary”
- “You were out of control”
- “We had no choice”
The reality: Restraint causes physical harm (circulation problems, muscle breakdown, injuries), psychological trauma (claustrophobia, re-traumatization), and violation of bodily autonomy.
Medical Violence: Unwanted Touch and Procedures
Section titled “Medical Violence: Unwanted Touch and Procedures”What it looks like:
- Touched in intimate areas without consent
- Medical procedures without explanation or permission
- Examined in front of others without privacy
- Sedated without explanation
- Catheterized without consent
- Blood drawn repeatedly
- Restraint during medical procedures
- Pressure to consent (“Everyone gets this procedure”)
- Procedures done by students/trainees without your knowledge
Why it’s violence: Your body belongs to you. Medical providers don’t have blanket permission to do whatever they want.
Examples:
- Gynecologist does pelvic exam without explaining or getting consent
- Caregiver insists you need a procedure you’ve refused
- Doctor prescribes medication without explaining side effects
- Therapist requires physical touch (holding, cuddling) as “treatment”
- Nurse draws blood for “research” without explaining
What medical professionals say:
- “I know what’s best for you”
- “You don’t understand medical need”
- “This is standard procedure”
- “You’re being difficult”
- “I need to do this”
What’s actually happening: Violation of consent and bodily autonomy.
Global context: In Global South, medical violence includes forced sterilization, experimental “treatments,” denial of care, and procedures done without anesthesia or consent.
Emotional/Psychological Violence: What It Looks Like
Section titled “Emotional/Psychological Violence: What It Looks Like”Gaslighting: Making You Question Reality
Section titled “Gaslighting: Making You Question Reality”What it looks like:
- You say something happened
- Abuser says it didn’t
- You doubt yourself
- Repeats until you believe them
Example 1:
You: “You told me I was stupid yesterday.”
Abuser: “I never said that. You’re making things up.”
You (later): “Did they say that? I can’t remember. Maybe I’m confused.”
Example 2:
You’re in pain and say so.
Abuser: “You’re fine. You always think you’re worse than you are.”
You (later): “Maybe I’m just exaggerating the pain.”
Example 3:
Abuse happens.
Abuser: “That wasn’t abuse. You’re too sensitive. Other people wouldn’t complain.”
You: “Maybe I am overreacting.”
Why it’s violent: Because it disconnects you from your own reality. You can’t trust yourself. Everything becomes questionable.
Common with disabled people because:
- Disabled people are already doubted (“Are you really sick?”)
- Pain and symptoms are subjective; easy to deny
- Disabled people sometimes have memory issues; abuser weaponizes this
- Medical gaslighting is normal (“It’s all in your head”)
Blame and Shame: Making It Your Fault
Section titled “Blame and Shame: Making It Your Fault”What it looks like:
- Abuser does harm
- You react (cry, get angry, ask them to stop)
- They blame your reaction: “See what you made me do?”
- Abuser frames themselves as victim: “I have to deal with your disability”
- You feel guilty for having disabilities and needs
Examples:
- Caregiver: “If your disability wasn’t so hard, I wouldn’t be stressed”
- Partner: “You made me angry; that’s why I said those things”
- Doctor: “You’re not following my advice; that’s why you’re not getting better”
- Abuser: “I do everything for you, and you’re still ungrateful”
Why it’s violent: Because it inverts responsibility. The abuser harms you, then makes you responsible for their harm.
Specific to disabled people:
- Made to feel like a burden
- Made to feel guilty for existing
- Made to feel responsible for abuser’s emotions
- Made to feel grateful for abuse (“At least they stay”)
The lie: “Your disability is why I abuse you.”
The truth: People with many stressors don’t abuse their loved ones. Abusers choose to abuse.
Isolation: Cutting Off Your Connections
Section titled “Isolation: Cutting Off Your Connections”What it looks like:
- Not allowed to see friends
- Prevented from participating in disability community
- Visits to family restricted or denied
- Communication monitored or prevented
- Interpreter access controlled (Deaf people)
- Transportation controlled (can’t go out)
- Phone/communication device controlled
- Online communities restricted
- Doctor visits filtered through abuser
Why it’s violent: Isolation removes your support network. You have no outside perspective. You have no one to tell. You have no escape.
Examples:
- Abuser: “Your disability friends are a bad influence”
- Caregiver: “I don’t have time to drive you to support groups”
- Partner: “I don’t like your disabled friends; don’t see them”
- Institution: “Phone time is a privilege you can lose”
- Staff: “Video calls distract you from therapy”
Why disabled people are isolated:
- Already isolated by disability and inaccessibility
- Abuser becomes only social connection
- Hard to access community (transportation, accessibility barriers)
- Online community controlled by same abuser (shares devices)
What it feels like: Like the only person in the world is your abuser.
Intermittent Reinforcement (Unpredictability)
Section titled “Intermittent Reinforcement (Unpredictability)”What it looks like:
- Abuser is kind one day, cruel the next
- You never know which version of them you’ll get
- Sometimes they’re wonderful; sometimes they’re horrible
- You can’t predict what will set them off
- You live trying to keep them happy
- You’re always anxious
The cycle:
- Tension building (they’re irritable, you’re nervous)
- Incident (abuse happens)
- Reconciliation (they apologize, are loving, give gifts)
- Calm (things are good for a while)
- Back to step 1
Why it’s violent: The unpredictability keeps you off-balance. You never know if the kind version will appear. So you keep trying, hoping today will be a good day.
Examples:
- Partner is loving and attentive, then suddenly angry and mean
- Caregiver is gentle in the morning, rough at night
- Doctor is kind in appointments, dismissive in notes
- Staff member is supportive sometimes, punitive other times
Why it traps you: Because sometimes they ARE kind. So you think maybe if you do better, if you’re less demanding, if you’re grateful enough, they’ll stay in the kind phase.
You stay hoping.
Threats
Section titled “Threats”What it looks like:
- Threatens to leave you alone
- Threatens to remove help/care
- Threatens institutionalization
- Threatens to hurt pets
- Threatens to report you to authorities
- Threatens to take away your kids
- Threatens to cut off medication
- Threatens suicide if you leave
Why threats are violent: Because they keep you compliant through fear.
Examples:
- “If you leave me, you’ll have to go to a group home”
- “No one else will take care of you like I do”
- “If you don’t listen, I’ll tell social services you’re unfit”
- “If you leave, I’ll tell everyone what a burden you are”
- “If you report me, I’ll make sure you lose your benefits”
Why it works on disabled people: Because many of the threats are real:
- Institutionalization IS possible
- It IS hard to find another caregiver
- Services ARE conditional
- People DO judge disabled people harshly
- Authorities MIGHT not believe you
The trap: Real threats based on real systemic threats to disabled people.
Financial Violence: What It Looks Like
Section titled “Financial Violence: What It Looks Like”What it looks like:
- Money goes missing from your account
- You’re given an allowance from your own money
- Abuser “borrows” and doesn’t return
- Benefit check received, money disappears
- Possessions sold without permission
- ID/cards controlled so you can’t access money
Examples:
- SSI check arrives on the 3rd; by the 5th it’s gone
- You ask “Where’s my money?” Abuser: “I paid bills”
- No bills were paid; they spent it
- Happens every month
Why it’s violent: Because it removes your autonomy and independence. You’re trapped financially.
Control of Money
Section titled “Control of Money”What it looks like:
- You can’t access your own bank account
- You ask permission to spend money
- Abuser gives you cash in small amounts
- You don’t know how much money you have
- You don’t know where money is spent
- You’re not allowed to work (lose independence)
- Abuser “manages” benefits but won’t tell you amounts
Examples:
- “You don’t understand money; I’ll handle it”
- “You’ll just waste it; here’s $20 for the week”
- Bank account only has their name
- You ask to buy something; they say “We can’t afford it” but you know money came in
Global context: In many cultures, abusers control family money as default. Recognizing this as abuse requires understanding that disabled people deserve financial autonomy.
Forced Debt
Section titled “Forced Debt”What it looks like:
- Abuser borrows money in your name
- Debts appear in your credit
- You’re forced to sign loan documents
- Credit cards opened without knowledge
- “You owe me for raising you”/“for caring for you”
- Told you need to “earn” care through indebtedness
Examples:
- Caregiver takes out loan with your name: “It’s for your care”
- Partner: “I’ve spent so much on you; you owe me”
- Family member borrows in your name for personal use
- Medical debt from unwanted procedures
Sexual Violence: What It Looks Like
Section titled “Sexual Violence: What It Looks Like”Coerced Sexual Contact
Section titled “Coerced Sexual Contact”What it looks like:
- You said no; they did it anyway
- Pressure: “If you don’t, I’ll leave/stop helping”
- Manipulation: “This is how people show love”
- Drugging or intoxication
- You froze (freeze is a trauma response, not consent)
- You said nothing (silence is not consent)
- They proceeded anyway
- Penetration without consent
Why disabled people are targeted:
- Assumed grateful for any intimacy
- Assumed unable to report
- Assumed unable to resist
- Assumed not to want sex (so forcing is “helping them”)
- Isolated; no one to tell
What survivors say:
- “I froze and couldn’t move”
- “I said no but they continued”
- “I was scared to refuse”
- “I didn’t want it but felt obligated”
- “They said this was normal”
Examples:
- Partner proceeds after you said no
- Caregiver touches you sexually during care
- You’re too afraid to refuse
- You feel obligated because they help you
Reproductive Coercion
Section titled “Reproductive Coercion”What it looks like:
- Forced contraception (shot, implant, pills given without consent)
- Prevented access to contraception (partner/abuser hides pills)
- Prevented access to abortion
- Forced pregnancy
- Prevented access to fertility treatment
- Sterilization without consent
Examples:
- Abuser: “If you have another baby, I’ll leave”
- Forced long-acting contraceptive (implant you don’t want)
- Partner stops you from taking birth control
- Forced to give up custody of existing children
- Doctor sterilizes you “for your own good”
Global context: In Global South and even Western countries, disabled women are forcibly sterilized under guise of “preventing disabled babies” or “can’t care for children.”
Why it matters: Reproductive autonomy is human rights. Coercion violates fundamental autonomy.
Sexual Violation in Medical Settings
Section titled “Sexual Violation in Medical Settings”What it looks like:
- Unnecessary pelvic exams
- Genital exams without consent or explanation
- Students/trainees present without your knowledge
- Delayed procedures so more people can observe
- Touching without warning
- No privacy during intimate exams
- Abuser present during intimate procedures
- Unconscious during intimate exams
Examples:
- Doctor does pelvic exam without explaining or asking
- Med students present during your intimate exam without consent
- Nurse catheterizes you without warning or explanation
- Abuser present during gynecology appointment, speaking for you
Why this is violence: Your body is not a teaching tool. Medical professionals need explicit consent.
Institutional Violence: What It Looks Like
Section titled “Institutional Violence: What It Looks Like”Neglect
Section titled “Neglect”What it looks like:
- Not fed or given inadequate food
- Not bathed for weeks
- Dirty, soiled clothes or bedding not changed
- Left in same position for hours
- Medication not given
- Not taken to bathroom, left in soiled conditions
- Medical needs ignored
- Pressure sores developing
- Significant weight loss
- Appearing malnourished or ill
Why it happens:
- Underfunding and understaffing
- Abuse normalized in institution
- Disabled people not seen as deserving care
- No outside accountability
What staff say:
- “We’re overwhelmed”
- “We do our best”
- “Funding is inadequate”
- “It’s not abuse; it’s just how it is”
What’s actually happening: Deliberate deprivation of basic care.
Forced Medication
Section titled “Forced Medication”What it looks like:
- Medication given without explanation
- Told medication is “for your benefit” but it’s actually for control
- Medication makes you sleepy or foggy
- You ask to stop; request refused
- Medication changed without your knowledge or consent
- Overmedication to manage behavior (sedation)
- Psychiatric medication given to non-psychiatric residents
Examples:
- Group home resident: “I don’t know what these pills are”
- Behavioral medication given to “quiet” residents
- Medication dosages increased when resident is “difficult”
- Antipsychotics given to people without psychiatric diagnoses
Why it happens:
- Easier to sedate than provide support
- No one advocates; no one questions
- Disabled people assumed to benefit from any “treatment”
Isolation and Solitary Confinement
Section titled “Isolation and Solitary Confinement”What it looks like:
- Locked in room as punishment
- Left alone for long periods
- Communication prevented
- Visits denied
- Phone calls prevented
- Computer/internet access denied
- Not allowed to see outside
- Kept from other residents
- No activities or stimulation
In institutions:
- “Therapeutic isolation”
- “Time out” rooms
- Solitary confinement in prisons
- Psychiatric holds with no contact
Effects:
- Severe psychological harm
- Regression
- Increased suicidality
- Trauma
- Sensory deprivation harm
Violation of Dignity and Autonomy
Section titled “Violation of Dignity and Autonomy”What it looks like:
- Not allowed to choose what to wear
- Not allowed privacy during toileting/bathing
- Spoken about (not to) as if you’re not present
- Called by wrong name or infantilized
- Not consulted about your own care
- Decisions made for you without input
- Not allowed to have possessions
- Not allowed to leave (even if able)
- Not allowed to refuse activities
- Treated as object, not person
Examples:
- “Time for your bath” (not asked, told)
- Staff discussing your intimate details in front of you
- Staff calling adults by first names or nicknames
- “We decided you need therapy” (no consultation)
- Not allowed to have phone, photos, or personal items
Why it matters: Because dignity and autonomy are not “extras”; they’re basic human needs.
Systemic Violence: What It Looks Like
Section titled “Systemic Violence: What It Looks Like”Forced Institutionalization
Section titled “Forced Institutionalization”What it looks like:
- Court orders you into institution against will
- Guardianship used to institutionalize
- Hospital hold extended indefinitely
- No process to leave
- Conditions are inhumane
- Forced to live in facility
- Freedom restricted
Why it’s violence: Because forced confinement is imprisonment. Being disabled doesn’t make imprisonment okay.
Denied Healthcare
Section titled “Denied Healthcare”What it looks like:
- Hospital refuses treatment because of disability
- “Quality of life” judgments used to deny care
- “With your disability, treatment won’t help” (so we won’t give it)
- DNR orders placed without consent
- Denied pain management because of disability stigma
Examples:
- Deaf person denied interpreter; hospital communicates only with companion
- Wheelchair user denied certain treatments “because they won’t benefit with disability”
- Disabled person’s pain dismissed as “part of disability” instead of treated
Forced Sterilization
Section titled “Forced Sterilization”What it looks like:
- Pressured into sterilization by provider
- Sterilized without consent
- Sterilization as condition for services
- Guardianship used to force sterilization
This still happens:
- Incarcerated women sterilized without consent
- Disabled women in institutions sterilized
- Immigrant women coerced into sterilization
- Medical providers saying “You shouldn’t have children”
Global context: Eugenics history: forced sterilization of disabled people, people of color, and poor people continues in many countries.
Police Violence Against Disabled People
Section titled “Police Violence Against Disabled People”What it looks like:
- Police called on person having disability crisis
- Escalation instead of de-escalation
- Use of force against disabled person
- Shooting of neurodivergent, Deaf, or psychosocial disability person
- Disabled person arrested instead of helped
- Brutality blamed on disability (“They were acting crazy”)
Examples:
- Deaf person shot because they didn’t respond to verbal commands
- Autistic person in meltdown, police use force
- Person with mental health disability experiencing crisis, police brutality instead of help
What It Looks Like By Disability Type
Section titled “What It Looks Like By Disability Type”For Deaf People
Section titled “For Deaf People”Physical violence:
- Hitting near ears
- Destroying communication devices
- Deaf person isolated (abuser controls interpreter or prevents access)
Emotional violence:
- Insults about deafness
- “You’re deaf, so you can’t…”
- Mocking signing
Medical violence:
- Medical interpreter denied
- Providers speak only to abuser
- Cochlear implant pressured (“We can fix you”)
Institutional violence:
- Segregation from hearing people
- Forced speaking instead of signing
- ASL use punished
For Blind/Low Vision People
Section titled “For Blind/Low Vision People”Physical violence:
- Mobility aid (cane, dog) removed or withheld
- Guide refused
- Direction given wrong (causing you to run into things)
- Navigating made impossible
Isolation:
- Not allowed out alone
- Transportation controlled
- Independence stripped under guise of “safety”
Medical violence:
- Vision loss dismissed or blamed on you
- Refused adaptive technology
- Treated as incapable of decisions
For Wheelchair Users and Mobility Disabled
Section titled “For Wheelchair Users and Mobility Disabled”Physical violence:
- Pushed or toppled in wheelchair
- Transfers done roughly
- Wheelchair denied or damaged
- Lifted without consent
Isolation:
- Transported without choice
- Accessibility made impossible on purpose
- Not taken to bathroom, left in soiled conditions
Institutional violence:
- Restrained in wheelchair
- Straps used excessively
- Confined to bed or room
For Neurodivergent People
Section titled “For Neurodivergent People”Emotional violence:
- Stimming prevented
- Special interests mocked
- Masking demanded: “Be normal”
- Meltdown/shutdown treated as misbehavior
Medical violence:
- Behavior-controlling medication
- “Therapy” to eliminate neurodivergence
- Forced social interaction
- Sensory abuse (forced into overwhelming environments)
Institutional violence:
- “Behavior management” through force
- Restraint for stimming or natural communication
- Segregation from peer group
For Psychosocial/Mental Health Disability
Section titled “For Psychosocial/Mental Health Disability”Emotional violence:
- Abuse blamed on “symptoms” or “mood”
- Reality questioned: “That’s your paranoia”
- Told abuse isn’t happening (“You’re just depressed”)
- Isolated “for recovery”
Medical violence:
- Involuntary hospitalization as threat
- Forced medication
- Psychiatric procedures without consent
- Abuse by mental health providers
Institutional violence:
- Psychiatric holds
- Forced treatment programs
- Restraint and seclusion
- Experimental treatments
For People with Chronic Illness/Hidden Disabilities
Section titled “For People with Chronic Illness/Hidden Disabilities”Emotional violence:
- Illness questioned: “You look fine”
- Abuse minimized: “It can’t hurt if they can’t see it”
- Gaslit about symptoms
- Told “You’re exaggerating”
Medical violence:
- Unnecessary procedures “to prove” you’re sick
- Pain dismissed as “psychological”
- Refused treatment because “You don’t look that sick”
- Medical provider and abuser collude
Disability Type Accessibility
Section titled “Disability Type Accessibility”Deaf/Hard of Hearing: This page uses text descriptions. Video descriptions of violence may be available through crisis organizations with video relay service.
Blind/Low Vision: All content is text-based for screen readers. Crisis hotline numbers at end of page with large text option.
Neurodivergent: Clear headings throughout. Each section is scannable. Jump to your disability type if needed.
Psychosocial/Mental Health: Your reality is real. What you’ve experienced is real. Your disability did not cause the abuse; abuse is separate.
Hidden/Invisible: Your invisible injury is real. Abuse against you is real even if no one can see marks.
How This Looks Different Across Cultures
Section titled “How This Looks Different Across Cultures”Western Contexts
Section titled “Western Contexts”Violence is often:
- Hidden in “private” relationships
- Excused in institutional settings as “necessary”
- Prosecuted if discovered (but rarely is)
- Minimized: “At least they’re with someone”
Global South Contexts
Section titled “Global South Contexts”Violence is often:
- Normalized within families
- Justified by economic dependence
- Excused as “cultural” or “normal caregiving”
- Accepted as cost of disability
- Compounded by poverty, lack of services, weak legal protections
Informal Economy
Section titled “Informal Economy”Violence in informal economy includes:
- Wage theft
- Excessive or dangerous work
- Debt bondage
- Sexual exploitation
- No legal recourse
What Violence Looks Like for Multiply-Marginalized Disabled People
Section titled “What Violence Looks Like for Multiply-Marginalized Disabled People”Disabled Women of Color
Section titled “Disabled Women of Color”Violence is:
- Racialized (treated as “expected”)
- Dismissed as “family business”
- Compounded by racism
- Less likely to result in police help
- More likely to result in being blamed
Disabled Immigrant or Refugee
Section titled “Disabled Immigrant or Refugee”Violence is:
- Used as control (deportation threat)
- Compounded by legal vulnerability
- Lack of access to services due to status
- Language barriers preventing reporting
- Immigration system itself is violent
Disabled LGBTQ+ People
Section titled “Disabled LGBTQ+ People”Violence is:
- Used to “correct” gender identity or sexuality
- Combined with transphobia/homophobia
- Medical abuse framed as “fixing” LGBTQ+ identity
- Abusers threaten to out you
- Community may not support because of disability OR LGBTQ+ identity
Disabled Incarcerated People
Section titled “Disabled Incarcerated People”Violence is:
- Systemic (prison itself is violence)
- Compounded by racism and criminalization
- Medical neglect standard
- Segregation in isolation
- No recourse; prison is authority
How to Support Someone After Witnessing Violence
Section titled “How to Support Someone After Witnessing Violence”If you see abuse happening:
- Don’t ignore it. Silence enables abusers.
- In the moment: Interrupt if safe (a simple “Hey, that’s not okay” can stop an incident)
- After: Check on the person privately, without the abuser present
- Believe them. Don’t question or minimize
- Offer resources. Share Crisis Resources
- Don’t force action. Let them decide; they know their situation
- Follow up. Check in later; abuse doesn’t disappear with one conversation
If someone tells you about violence:
- Believe them. They know what happened
- Don’t minimize. “That’s not so bad” is gaslighting
- Don’t question their decision to stay. They have reasons you may not understand
- Offer specific help. “I can drive you to a shelter” not just “Get help”
- Keep their safety in mind. Don’t confront the abuser; that often escalates
- Respect confidentiality. Don’t tell others without permission
If you’re a mandated reporter:
- Report suspected abuse to appropriate authorities
- Support the person, not the institution
- Understand they may not be relieved. Reporting can increase danger
- Follow up. Reporting doesn’t mean the person is safe; push for accountability
Further Resources
Section titled “Further Resources”Visual/Concrete Resources
Section titled “Visual/Concrete Resources”- “Power and Control Wheel” (Duluth Model): Visual representation of abuse patterns
- Photo essays on abuse: Disabled activist photographers have documented abuse visually
Crisis & Immediate Help
Section titled “Crisis & Immediate Help”- National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233
- Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741
- Crisis Hotlines by Country: Global options
- Accessibility: Video relay, TTY, captions available
Disability-Specific Resources
Section titled “Disability-Specific Resources”- National Disabled Women’s Network: Disability-centered DV resources
- Autistic Self Advocacy Organization: Neurodivergent abuse resources
- Deaf community organizations: DV resources in sign language
- NAMI: Psychosocial disability and abuse
Understanding Violence
Section titled “Understanding Violence”- Lundy Bancroft’s work: Understanding abusive patterns
- Disability Justice reading: Disabled people writing about violence and resistance
- Transforming Disability Identification (TDI): Community accountability models
Related Pages on This Wiki
Section titled “Related Pages on This Wiki”- Recognizing Abuse: Patterns and red flags
- Crisis Resources: Immediate help
- Your Rights & Laws: Legal options
- Peer Support Communities: Survivor communities
- Community Accountability: Beyond police
Navigation
Section titled “Navigation”In crisis? → Crisis Resources
Need patterns? → Recognizing Abuse
Ready to act? → Your Rights & Laws
Need support? → Peer Support Communities
Looking for accountability models? → Community Accountability
Key Takeaways
Section titled “Key Takeaways”✓ Violence is a choice. Not inevitable, not deserved, not caused by disability.
✓ Abuse is often invisible. No bruises doesn’t mean no violence.
✓ You are not crazy for noticing. Trust your instincts.
✓ It’s not your fault. Abuse is never the survivor’s fault.
✓ You deserve safety. Not “eventual safety,” not “after you change,” now.
✓ Help exists. Not perfect help, but help.
This information is created by disabled people, for disabled people. Your reality matters. Your safety matters.
Contribute to This Page
Section titled “Contribute to This Page”Have lived experience or expertise that could strengthen this page? We especially welcome perspectives on models not well represented here, including those from the Global South and Indigenous communities.
This page centers disabled people’s expertise and is informed by disabled-led organizing globally. For questions or to suggest additions, see How to Contribute.